An Open Letter to the Laptop-Shooting Dad

If you don't know what this is referring to, watch this video:



Dear sir;

Before I say anything else, let me start by saying that I understand your frustration and yes, even your anger. If my kid was grounded for three months for posting a similar rant on her Facebook profile and s/he did it again, I'd be upset too. You are well within your rights to discipline your child. Parents should do that so their children grow up to be responsible adults.

That said, I question your methods, sir.

As I was watching your video, it didn't sit right with me. Something was bothering me. Like I said, I understand your frustration. I can sympathize with it. But as I watched this, I couldn't help but feel a bit uneasy about the whole situation.

And it's not about the gun. No, really, it's not, although I do wonder whether or not using a weapon of any kind to discipline your child is the best idea.

Instead, it's about the overarching methodology you've chosen.

Let me break down the situation as I'm seeing it:

A daughter is unjustifiably upset by what her parents have done, and so she posts what amounts to a temper tantrum that's visible only to her friends (or at least, it was supposed to be).

Then a father is justifiably upset by what his daughter has done, and so he posts what amounts to a temper tantrum that's visible to the entire world.

Do you see the difference between those two statements? There are two: whether or not the person was justified in their anger and the size of their audience.

Again, I'm not condoning your daughter's behavior. It was reprehensible. Referring to a friend of the family as "the cleaning lady" is not cool. Whining about a short list of chores in a profanity-laced post is not, in any way, okay. And you're right, she does seem to have a gratitude problem.

But here's the ironic thing: you're upset about your daughter airing the family laundry in a semi-public forum and so, to discipline her, you air even more of the family's dirty laundry in an even more public forum.

Sir, you are supposed to be setting the example in your family. Right now, the example you're presenting is that it really is okay to post a public rant. And I'm pretty sure that's not the lesson you're trying to teach.

If you're a God-fearing man, you're probably thinking of what we Lutherans call the Fourth Commandment right now, Honor your father and your mother. And that's certainly true. But after watching your video, I couldn't help but think of a different part of Scripture, namely Ephesians 6:4. "Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord"

Might I suggest an alternate approach? Instead of filming a one-sided video rant and posting it for all the world to see, maybe actually sit down and talk with your daughter and explain why you're so upset. Discipline her by all means. Take away her laptop to remove the temptation. But do so in a loving, private manner.

Oh, and if I may be so bold, I'm still not sold on using the gun. Maybe, instead of destroying the laptop, you could have deleted her personal data and given it to the woman who has been helping out around your house. I understand she's down on her luck and might be able to use it. Just a thought.

Sincerely,
A concerned fellow parent

Happy Pi Day!

In honor of this mathematically auspicious occasion, I offer a song:



And it is also my little brother's birthday today. So I offer a song for him as well:

A Request for Help

They say when you find out you're going to be a father, your entire life changes. And from my experience, that's certainly true. But my experience was a little different than most. I was actually holding my son when I found out I'd be his father.

One of the greatest experiences I've had is becoming an adoptive father. A little over three years ago, Jill and I worked with Lutheran Social Services of Minnesota and, after a surprisingly short but wild ride, we met Isaiah's birthmother. Isaiah was four months old at the time.

This past summer, Jill and I started working with LSS again to start the process for our second adoption. We are home study approved and we're looking for your help. We're hoping to adopt a second child, ideally infant up through six months. We are more than willing to have an open relationship with the birthparents as we've stayed in contact with Isaiah's birthmother and have really enjoyed that.

If you know of a woman who is thinking about placing their baby for adoption, please let us know. You can contact us via e-mail at johnorjill (at) live (dot) com (replacing the items in parentheses with the appropriate symbols) and we can pass along more information.

Thank you in advance for your help!

A Most Portentious Day:

Happy birthday, Isaiah!

Ruminations on parenting

Two thoughts have kind of been bouncing around in my head recently, one for a while now and I've finally found the time to put it in the blog.

Ever since Isaiah has come to live with us, people have been extremely generous. We've gotten so much clothing from hand-me-downs to brand new outfits that it's boggled our minds. That being said, I've been developing a theory about the people who design clothing for infants: half of them are childless and have never spent a significant amount of time with the children for whom they're designing.

What's my proof? The absolutely asinine way that they design some outfits. Let me tell you what my wife and I have come to discover: snaps along the inside of pant legs are a gift from heaven. That way you don't have to completely strip down the child when you have to change him or her. We absolutely adore outfits that have this feature.

But, naturally, not all of them do. Some of them have a zipper down just one leg. That is an okay design and still easy to work with. Some people, though, make the ridiculous choice of having no snaps. In other words, to change your child, you have to remove the pants entirely. Granted, this only takes an extra second, but when you're trying to keep a struggling six month old calm while you change him, those extra seconds can be a pain.

There are two outfits, though, that just annoy me to no end. What genius decided that buttons were a good choice for baby clothing? I mean, honestly! Isaiah rarely sits still long enough for us to get half a dozen buttons down the front of his shirt. Use snaps, people!

And the other outfit that drives me loco? Some genius put the snaps on the back of the outfit! Now you tell me, how did that moron think this was going to work, especially if the child had to be changed?

But enough about clothing. Here's the other thing that's annoyed me recently.

This past Saturday, my brother-in-law and I went to see 300. I was curious to see how it all hung together, especially since I had read that they filmed the whole thing on a sound stage and digitally added stuff like backgrounds, the army, blood, all that stuff later. I thought that aesthetically, the film was great. My one gripe would be the many times the director seemed to fall asleep on the slow-motion button. Ratcheting up the drama is one thing; overusing it is another.

The thing to keep in mind is that 300 earns every inch of its "R" rating. Lots of blood, lots of violence, lots of naked people, the usual stuff that gets things an "R." So as I'm watching this movie, I heard someone cough in the theater. I turned to my right, and there were at least half a dozen kids, all of whom couldn't have been older than ten, sitting there with their parents.

Now, I realize, none of those parents will likely stumble into my blog. Moreoever, even if they did, I can't tell them how to raise their children. But taking kids to see 300? Really? How, exactly, is that a good idea? Personally I hope those kids have nightmares for a few weeks and keep their parents up all night.

So Where Have I Been?

I feel kind of guilty right now. I haven't added a post here in more than a month. I even missed the January Christian Sci-Fi and Fantasy Blog tour. I haven't posted my rambling thoughts on books I've read or movies I've seen. I've often thought of coming back here and at least tossing a few thoughts on the blog. But I haven't.

Why? It's his fault:

This is my new son, Isaiah. Jill (my wife) and I are currently in the process of adopting him. We've been working with Lutheran Social Services for the past six months or so and just found out in the end of December that we were getting Isaiah, a healthy four month old baby boy.

Well, he's five months now and you can imagine that a childless couple going to parents in less than two weeks can be something of an adjustment. The whole story of how we adopted Isaiah could take a few posts. It's an odd tale of bizarre timing and proof, I think, that God has an odd sense of humor.

At any rate, now that we're beginning to get into the swing of this whole parenting business, maybe I'll be able to come here a little more often. What's coming up? Well, I plan on sharing my thoughts on Gilmore Girls, Controversy Creates Cash, and yes, I'll be back for the February CSFF blog tour.

But I suppose you should also brace yourself for the inevitable posts about my son. He is, in my humble opinion, the cutest kid on the planet.

Strong Bad lives! He lives!

One of my favorite cartoon websites is Homestar Runner. More specifically, I like the e-mails written by Strong Bad. As my wife would say, it's "boy humor." Very silly stuff. I mean, just check out the special director's cut of Strong Bad's action movie, "Dangeresque 1: Dangeresque, too?" to see what I mean.

I was clued in to Strong Bad and his awesome e-mails by my soon-to-be brother-in-law, Chris. Cool guy.

Anyway, recently, Chris sent me a picture of himself dressed up as Strong Bad. I nearly fell out of my chair laughing:

Chris as Strong Bad

Naturally, I had to know why he dressed up like that. He explained it was for a convention he attended in Detroit. He sent me other pictures and this article about the convention. He's even mentioned in the article not once, but three times!

But by far, my favorite picture he sent is this one:

I love it! I absolutely love it!

And Chris .... you should know better than to send me pictures of yourself dressed up as cartoon characters. :)