CSFF Blog Tour: OEDSD Day Three

So I fell down on the job yesterday. I didn't post anything about On the Edge of the Dark Sea of Darkness by Andrew Peterson. My bad. I really didn't have anything to add about it. That shouldn't be taken as any sort of indictment against the book. It's more an indication that I've been fried for the past week what with a head cold, Holy Week, and a son who learned the joys of projectile vomiting yesterday.

But I'm back today with the following: in the spirit of the silliness of On the Edge of the Dark Sea of Darkness, I offer my top five list of the biggest jokes in the Bible:

5) Jacob's Limp - One of the unfortunate things about translations is that you often lose the flavor of the Biblical text in question. For example, many of the Old Testament writers enjoyed jokes and play on words. Nowhere is this more evident than in Genesis 32:22-32, the story of Jacob wrestling with God.

For those of you who don't remember it, Jacob is scared out of his mind because he'll have to face Esau, the brother he ripped off not just once, but twice. He stays up all night and winds up wrestling with God. God even cheats by wrenching Jacob's hip out of joint but Jacob won't let Him go until He blesses him. And so God changes Jacob's name to Israel and we're told that he limped away.

So why is this a joke? Because "Jacob" means "crooked" and "Israel" can mean "straight" (among other things). So when Jacob was crooked he walked straight. When Jacob became "straight" he walked crooked.

Here's the thing about Hebrew word-jokes: they're never funny.

4) Isaiah's son's name - In a related vein, names in the Old Testament are rife for humor as well. They always describe the circumstances of the child's birth or the individual's character. A few quick examples: Isaac means "he laughs" (very appropriate, given how both Abraham and Sarah laughed at the idea of being parents). Joseph means, in essence, "give me another!" This reflects Rachel's desire for a second son fairly well, don't you think? Elijah, the prophet who went toe-to-toe with the priests of Baal and won, means "The Lord is God," a good summary of his ministry.

But then there's Isaiah's son. I sympathize with him because his name was an object lesson for the people of Israel.

I'm a pastor's kid and I remember how embarrassing it was when my dad used me as a sermon illustration. But at least my embarrassment was temporary. Isaiah's kid had to live with it his whole life.

What am I talking about? In Isaiah 8:1-4, God instructs Isaiah to name his son "Maher-shalal-hash-baz," for "Before the boy knows how to say 'My father' or 'My mother,' the wealth of Damascus and the plunder of Samaria will be carried off by the king of Assyria." It turns out that "Maher-shalal-hash-baz" means "quick to the plunder, swift to the spoil."

Poor guy!

3) Ehud the Left-Handed Judge - This has been one of my favorite stories for a long time. I was first told it in the fifth grade by my mother in, of all things, a mid-week Bible class, because she wanted to show us that the Bible had some wild stories in it.

If you're not familiar with this one, it's in Judges 3:12-30. Basically Ehud was raised up to fight the Moabites and the way he did it was ... rather unique.

Since Ehud was left handed, he strapped a foot-and-a-half long sword to his right thigh. He then visited King Eglon of Moab to deliver Israel's tribute. Eglon's guards, apparently assuming that Ehud was right handed, only checked his left thigh for weapons.

Crack security staff, no?

Ehud then told Eglon he had "a message from God" for him. As soon as Eglon ordered his advisors out, Ehud drew his sword and stabbed Eglon. The Moabite king, it turns out, was so fat that Ehud lost his sword in him. Ehud left and locked the door behind him.

Eglon's servants, upon discovering that the doors were locked, jumped to the conclusion that Eglon was in the bathroom. Because you apparently don't interrupt the Moabite king's "private time," Ehud was able to escape and rally the troops to fight the Moabites.

Dead serious. Everything I just said is in the Bible. Look it up for yourself.

2) Paul's hyperbolic statement regarding the Judaizers - The Old Testament isn't the only place to find humor. This one's really brief but always makes me chuckle.

In the book of Galatians, Paul has to deal with a group we call the "Judaizers." The Judaizers were Jewish Christians who believed that before Gentiles could become Christian, they had to first become good Jews. That included getting circumcized. So they went out and preached their version of the Gospel, encouraging Gentile Christians to ... well, go under the knife.

Needless to say, Paul was not happy with this development, especially since some of the Galatian Christians fell for it. He railed against them for falling back under the Law when they were free. But he saved the coup de grace for Galatians 5:12, where he basically says that he wishes the Judaizers would just finish the job and emasculate themselves.

That's right, Paul isn't too scared to work blue!

That brings us to the #1 joke in the Bible, the one that always makes me laugh:

1) The Empty Tomb - Let's face it, this is the biggest joke in the Bible, bar none. But before anyone surfs away in a rage because I'm a heretic, let me explain. It's not that the joke is on us, it's that the joke is on sin, death, and the devil.

Because if you think about it, that unholy Trinity probably thought they had won on Good Friday when Jesus died. They thought they had killed God's Son and defeated Him. They likely were ready to dance on His grave. But then, on Easter Sunday, Jesus rose and showed that the joke was on them. They had really lost and now, as St. Paul joyfully declares in 1 Corinthians 15:57 - "He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ."

So we can laugh with joy because He is risen!

There you go. Next month, come back for a rather interesting historical fiction book, one that I'm in the middle of reading. I may have a bit to say about it, maybe I won't. We'll just have to see.

In the meantime, go check out what other people are saying:

Sally Apokedak
Brandon Barr
Jim Black
Justin Boyer
Jackie Castle
Valerie Comer
CSFF Blog Tour
Gene Curtis
D. G. D. Davidson
Janey DeMeo
Jeff Draper
April Erwin
Beth Goddard
Marcus Goodyear
Todd Green
Jill Hart
Katie Hart
Michael Heald
Timothy Hicks
Christopher Hopper
Jason Joyner
Kait
Carol Keen
Mike Lynch
Margaret
Rachel Marks
Shannon McNear
Rebecca LuElla Miller
Pamela Morrisson
Deena Peterson
Rachelle
Steve Rice
Cheryl Russel
Ashley Rutherford
Chawna Schroeder
James Somers
Donna Swanson
Steve Trower
Speculative Faith
Robert Treskillard
Jason Waguespac
Laura Williams
Timothy Wise

CSFF Blog Tour: On the Edge of the Dark Sea of Darkness Day One

This month we take a look at the tongue-twistingly entitled On the Edge of the Dark Sea of Darkness by Andrew Peterson.

I have to be honest, when I first read the title on the blog tour schedule, I had a sinking feeling about it. It seemed so redundant that I was a bit worried I was in for a stinker.

When I received my copy, I looked it over and the sinking feeling grew. I remember thinking The only way this title would work is if this is supposed to be a silly book.

So I cracked open the book to the first page: "A Brief Introduction to the World of Aerwiar." Reading how this mythical land received its name made me chuckle.

Moving on to the next section: "A Slightly Less Brief Introduction to the Land of Skree." That seemed a little weird and made me smile even more as I read about the geography of Skree and then its history.

Tucking that under my belt, I turned the page to discover: "An Introduction to the Igiby Cottage (Very Brief)." And as Peterson explained how the Igibys were all miserable in spite of the fact that they listened to wild tales from their grandfather, who enjoyed to smoke his pipe and so on, I felt much better about the title.

For this is, indeed, a very silly book.

That is by no means a complaint. Instead, it made the book extremely enjoyable. The story follows the three Igiby children, Janner, Tink, and Leeli, as they are caught up in a crazy adventure, pitting them against the dreaded Fangs of Dang, the minions of Gnag the Nameless (a delightful oxymoron if I ever saw one).

The story itself kept moving as the Igibys find themselves tumbling from one crisis to another, trying to figure out who they are and why the Fangs are so interested in their family. What connection do they have with long-destroyed Anniera? The humor definitely kept the plot moving and made for a fun read.

I only had two gripes about the book. First was the fact that I saw the "twist" coming about a hundred pages in. I don't want to go into too much detail lest I give it all away. Since this book seems to be geared for kids, though, that's understandable and acceptable.

Second were the footnotes. Peterson included notes about culture, history, songs, and other such matters all throughout the text. These notes, so far as I could tell, had little or nothing to do with the actual story. Perhaps they were intended as a humorous way to increase immersion, but they distracted me from the story. That's probably just me, but it did bug me.

But it's still a fun, quick read and sure to be a great story to share with your kids.

Be sure to check out what the others are saying on the tour:

Sally Apokedak
Brandon Barr
Jim Black
Justin Boyer
Jackie Castle
Valerie Comer
CSFF Blog Tour
Gene Curtis
D. G. D. Davidson
Janey DeMeo
Jeff Draper
April Erwin
Beth Goddard
Marcus Goodyear
Todd Green
Jill Hart
Katie Hart
Michael Heald
Timothy Hicks
Christopher Hopper
Jason Joyner
Kait
Carol Keen
Mike Lynch
Margaret
Rachel Marks
Shannon McNear
Rebecca LuElla Miller
Pamela Morrisson
Deena Peterson
Rachelle
Steve Rice
Cheryl Russel
Ashley Rutherford
Chawna Schroeder
James Somers
Donna Swanson
Steve Trower
Speculative Faith
Robert Treskillard
Jason Waguespac
Laura Williams
Timothy Wise

Venus Needs Men

I always enjoy a bizarre board game. The more pieces, the more complex the rules, the better. I could probably do a whole month's worth of posts on some of my favorites, but tonight, I got to try a new one, namely Venus Needs Men. If you like '50s sci-fi, this is a game that you should enjoy.

The premise is simple: the players take charge of an alien race (Venusians, Martians, Plutonians, the denizens of Ganymede or Titan). You can also be in charge of Earth's defenses. If you're one of the alien races, your goal is to build spaceships, fly them to earth, and abduct as many humans as you can while fighting off your opponents. If you're the Earthlings, you're out to protect as many of your people as you can.

Jill and I bought this for her brother for his birthday a few months back (he likes complex games as well) and we had the chance to break it out tonight.

There are two sets of rules for the game, the "basic" and "enhanced." Tonight we tried out the basic rules. You can basically build new ships, move them, land them, abduct humans, and then head home with your prizes. If you happened to wind up near your opponents, you could attack them as well.

The Zap cards added some extra fun. These could be used to force opponents to skip turns, destroy their ships, or otherwise mess with them. It helped break up the simple play. Oftentimes we found ourselves pushing the little plastic ships around on the board and picking up the little "population chips."

While we didn't try the enhanced rules this time, we will in the future. It appears to add a layer of strategy to it as it tosses in special abilities (such as the Martian ability to take control of opponent's ships or the Titans' ability to infect humans) and technology upgrade cards.

There were a few drawbacks to the game, namely some holes in the rules. For example, there was some initial confusion regarding combat. The "quick reference" cards were vague enough that we weren't sure what constituted a successful attack. The rules did clarify things. We were also unsure what happened to abducted humans if the ship they were on was destroyed.

So if you like kitschy sci-fi, this game is probably for you. And if you do play it, you probably will want to skip right to the enhanced rules.

The Return of Jezebel James

Amy Sherman-Palladino, shame on you!

I guess it's just one of those nights. First it's Temple of Doom, now it's The Return of Jezebel James. What the heck was she thinking? The speed talking of Gilmore Girls, but with none of the wit and a laugh track that makes me want to smash my head against a wall.

And Parker Posey? Annoying as all get out.

And as long as we're handing out shame, Scott Cohen needs a heaping helping as well. He deserves better than this. Mr. Medina, no!

With any luck, this trainwreck will be over soon and Sherman-Palladino can find a better idea.

Temple of Doom

So here's an odd tidbit about myself. I never watched Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.

When I was a child, my parents forbade my siblings and me from watching it due to the graphic scenes and other such nonsense. That irked me a bit when I was younger because I figured I could handle whatever was in the movies.

But when I grew older, I never bothered to watch it. At the time, I just didn't have the desire. Other movies to watch. And again, when I became an adult, I never watched it, even after I bought the special collectors' edition a few years ago.

Tonight, I broke my record. I have now watched said movie. And I can honestly say that I've seen it one time too many.

Incomprehensible, an antiheroic Indy, all of it just made me wish I had kept my record going.

98,695

Tonight I finished the third draft of a book I'm now calling The Last Expedition. I've talked about this one before. I didn't reach my goal of 100,000 words, but 1,305 off is pretty close. Besides, that count is going to fluctuate when I begin the rewriting process. Sections will be cut, others will be added. Who knows what the count will be when I'm done.

So the next step is to set it aside for my mandatory two month minimum cool-down period. In mid-May or so, I'll come back to it with fresh eyes (hopefully). My goal is to have it ready to go by the end of the year, but we'll see.

Now I'm going to take a break for a day or two (mostly so I can go see my folks and siblings on Sunday and Monday), and then it'll be time to hit my next project: Caiaphas.

Marcher Lord Press

I don't know when this was announced, but today I noticed that Marcher Lord Press announced their opening line-up of books, all of which will be available on October 1st.

No, none of them are mine. Not yet anyway.

But I'm planning on buying 'em all. Go read the summaries. I think you'll want to as well.

And while we're at it, check out these cool prizes that are being given away. I'm glad I signed up as soon as I could. I wish I could sign up some more. But if you haven't yet, be sure you register today.

Symphony of Secrets

So I'm on a major Sharon Hinck kick, I guess. Finished reading The Restorer's Journey recently. And this morning, I finished reading Symphony of Secrets.

Like I said, I went to the gala opening a week ago. Jill read the book first and then passed it on to me afterwards. And this proved to be a fast, satisfying read as well.

Sharon Hinck puts together a very nice cozy mystery centered around concert flutist Amy Johnson. Amy is a single mother who finally gets her big break: she is able to join the Minneapolis Symphony. But then everything else spirals out of control. Her daughter, Clara, not only joins the (gasp!) cheerleading squad but she also starts to ask some uncomfortable questions about her father, ones that dredge up painful memories. Her friend, Lena, has converted to Christianity and is putting pressure on her to come to church (pressure that pops up in an unexpected way). And worst of all, the symphony is floundering as an unknown individual is out to sabotage everything. Amy does her best to deal with the mystery, but her efforts seem to only make things worse.

Amy is a prickly musician through and through. Like many of Sharon Hinck's characters, Amy feels inadequate in many of her roles. But unlike Sharon's other characters, Amy isn't a Christian. Not even close. She has definite First Commandment issues since she "worships" music as her god. The Christianity is not as blatant as in the Becky Miller or Restorer books but it is there.

One of the best things about this book is that I didn't see the solution coming. Well, that's not true. I had my suspicions, but Sharon created enough plausible suspects that I couldn't say for certain. The musician jokes added some spice to the story (and I especially appreciated the fact that the jokester was a trombone player. Man after my own heart). In short, if more Amy Johnson books come out, they'll be a great addition to the Sharon's pantheon of books.

Time for a Writing Update

So it's been a while since I updated the few readers who trickle into my blog on how my writing projects are going. Here we go:

The Return of the Mourning Dove

I finished the first draft of this fantasy novel late last year (in September or October, if memory serves). I had put it on the shelf to let it cool so I could take an objective look at it and begin rewriting it. Because of the move to South Saint Paul, I have not had the chance to start on it yet.

But here's a picture of the manuscript in all 100,000 words of its glory:

I really need to get to work on that soon.

The Last Expedition

I've mentioned my Christian sci-fi trilogy before. Well, I'm about two-thirds of the way through the first draft of version #3 of book 1. Confusing? Let's review.

I originally wrote The Leader's Song trilogy as one long book (easily 300,000 words long). When I realized that the sheer size would scare off publishers, I decided to chop it up into three books, namely The Rune Enigma, Exile, and Return to the Fold.

At the 2006 ACFW Conference, several people commented that there were structural problems with the books. I debated for a long time how to fix said structural problems and finally decided to tell the story in a linear fashion. The first two books would deal with what I've referred to as "the ancient story." The third book would tell the "modern story."

Back in January, I made a New Year's Resolution to write every day. And my first project would be the first volume in the rewritten Leader's Song trilogy. Since The Rune Enigma, the original title, referred to events in the "modern story," I scrapped it in favor of The Last Expedition.

In essence, this new version has three parts: The Conservatory, Target Four, and Target Ten. Target Ten is basically the last 30,000 words of The Rune Enigma and I figure I can save them with minor tweaks and updates to get everything to blend.

About two days ago, I finished work on The Conservatory portion. It clocks in at a little over 40,000 words. That leaves me with Target Four, which will hopefully be about 30,000 words long when I'm done.

The real problem is that I'm behind. I had hoped to have the entire project done at the end of February. Obviously I didn't quite make it. So now I'm upping my daily quota from "any writing" to "at least 1,000 words (preferrably 2,000)."

So there you go.

The Restorer's Journey

A week ago, my lovely wife, wonderful son, and I went to the book launch for Sharon Hinck's latest opus, Symphony of Secrets. But since Jill and I had a copy of said book already, I purchased her other latest release, The Restorer's Journey. One of the guests at the gala said that he had gotten a copy of this book and read it in two days.

And now, so have I.

Susan Mitchell and her son, Jake, go back to the People of the Verses but things go decidedly awry as Susan falls into the hands of enemies intent on destroying her and Jake ... well, let's just say that Jake has problems of his own which I won't divulge because I try not to give out too many spoilers.

To put it bluntly, I couldn't put this book down. Once I got going, I had to keep reading to find out what would happen. Hinck constructed the book to compel readers to keep going by spending a few chapters with Susan and then a few chapters with Jake. The reason why this worked so well is because it'd keep you reading. She'd end a section describing what was happening to Susan on a dramatic note, which propelled me into the section on Jake. I'd want to read Jake's section quickly, but by the time I was halfway through Jake's section, I'd be into his story again and wanting to keep going with that. But then Susan's story would come back and I'd read through her story to get to Jake's adventures... You get the idea.

Part of the fun with the Restorer series (and all of Sharon's books, for that matter) is the fact that she always has an interesting point to make about faith. In The Restorer's Son, for example, she vividly portrayed a person wrestling with God. Or sword fighting, as it were. This time, Sharon gave me some food for thought on the question of evil. I won't say what that thought was because I'd rather you go and find it for yourself.

So make sure you pick this one up. Just be ready for a marathon reading session.